April 27

I received a telephone call from director Xian Junfang in the afternoon. He said that others in the radiation department had either been isolated or dispatched to help other units, so I needed to be temporarily transferred to a specialized SARS hospital. I could hardly believe it, as it was all happening so fast.

In the taxi driving to the hospital, I received a call from my mother. I told her the truth and she said she supported me and not to be too worried. When we arrived, the taxi driver insisted on not charging me and wished me good health - maybe he heard the conversation between my mother and I. I didn't know what to do, and only advised him to open windows for ventilation. I wanted to see the number of the car plate to thank him later but he drove away immediately, saying as he did so, “It’s not worth mentioning.” I suddenly felt the huge responsibility for the Beijing people on my shoulders and their trust in all of us fighting at the SARS frontline.

April 28

Wearing a gauze mask and white gown, we set out at 1:30 pm. Although Peng Jianjun, another doctor in my department, joked that we should remember this meaningful day, I felt nervous. But as there were people on the roadside giving us the thumbs-up or showing us the “V” sign, we felt encouraged.

It was difficult to see properly when we entered the isolated area, as our eyes needed to get used to the new environment.

My first patient was the most serious in the area. She had serious breathing difficulties and did so loudly. Holding her roentgenogram, I did not know how to place it on her. At last, I held my breath and supported her with my hands and put it on her back. My nose nearly made contact with her. I did not shrink back. I found my legs tremble when I finished. But it was good that under the cover of the cap and gauze mask, others could not see it.

Many workmates from the Beijing Tongren Hospital worked on the third floor. They were the ear department’s Liu Huiying and Yang Hong and our department’s Sun Tingting and Peng Jianjun. They were all optimistic and relaxed. Compared to them, I was somewhat ashamed.

April 29

I felt better today as I gradually adjusted. I found a window without glass in the corridor on the second floor, and stretched my head out and breathed deeply. My headache began to relax.

Today’s patients were all less serious and some could even stand up. Once we entered, they talked with us endlessly - they had not talked with others for a long time. Wearing gauze masks, the doctors found it difficult to speak, but felt happy as we tried to talk with them more.

Going off work at 11 o’clock in the evening, chefs had prepared supper for us. I didn't want to eat, but just sleep. But workmates called me and insisted that I must go to the canteen. When I arrived, they gathered at a table, as today was the birthday of surgery doctor, Wang Jie. We wished him happy birthday and all considered it an “atypical” birthday meeting.

We asked Wang Jie to make a wish. He said meaningfully that he wished no more such birthdays. We all felt grieved and go to bed after a time of silence.

Deeply wish such a disaster had not befallen us.

April 30

People’s life-force was surprising. The most serious patient could sit up now and said thanks when we left her ward. I thought, for SARS, the most important time was the first few days. If people could survive it, they would recover. And that was why old and weak patients were most at risk.

The news that I worked in a SARS hospital spread and many telephone calls came and told me to protect myself and that we would celebrate when I was back. I said that many workmates were braver than I was and getting back safely was really worth celebrating.

My son also called me. He was too young and it was certain that my mother told him how to dial. He asked when I would get back and why his mother also worked in a SARS hospital. Eventually, he asked me to buy him a white gown and glasses worn by doctors for him. He said it was very cool.

May 1

Today was Labor Day. We went out to play badminton. Suddenly I heard someone call me. They were the directors of the radiation department, Wang Zhenchang and Tian Qichang, my workmates Yan Fei, Zhang Yanming and Zhang Hua. They brought flowers and signatures and written words from workmates staying in the Tongren Hospital. I felt warm and wanted to cry. I said if they did not leave, I would cry. They laughed and left.

Directors in other departments also came to see us and brought food and useful things. Doctor Wei of our labor union often brought us many things. We hoped unit leaders and workmates paid attention to their health and did not get too close to us. And we tried our best to work hard.

It was the first time I saw Ge Zhitao's tears. The boy-like girl caught a fever yesterday and she said she wanted to work here. We hoped she had just caught a cold, not…

We were given drugs to strengthen our resistance while we went off duty. I took it as soon as return as I needed to protect myself and persevere in the victory of the fight against SARS.

(China.org.cn, translated by Feng Yikun, May 12, 2003)