Mental Burden

Everybody close to him knew how eager Zhu was to defend his title at the Beijing Olympics, although he never said so.

At the Chinese City Games last October, he surpassed the world record of 703.1 points by 0.6 to win a gold medal.

Zhu Qinan smiles after winning the men's 10m air rifle in the Sixth Intercity Games, Wuhan, October 26, 2007. [Xinhua]

After the awarding ceremony, he immediately took off the medal.

"I will stow this one and prepare myself for the next," he said.

In the eyes of Chang Jingchun, Zhu was among the most diligent shooter.

"I never remind him of practice. In fact, nothing could stop him," the soft-spoken coach also choked.

Zhu's desire to win was tremendous, under which he almost collapsed.

After the training on Sunday, he had a conversation with Chang.

Zhu said, "I am afraid."

"Who are you afraid of? Any other shooters?" Chang asked.

"No. Just myself..." his head drooped.

According to Chang, his burden was neither money nor fame.

"He said he just didn't want to let down his teammates and me," said the coach.

In Zhu's own words, "My coach dedicated so much for me and my teammates had great hopes in me. I was not competing alone."

Standing on the podium, the boy said to himself, "after four years of endeavor, this (the silver medal) is not the result that I wanted. Although I crowned in 2004, what I really wanted was a gold medal on our own soil."

Thus he admitted, "the tears were just a vent of my oppression."

People were touched the moment Zhu wiped. Spectators applauded, many with red eyes.

On the BBS of China's portal website of Sina, nearly 30,000 netizens left comments as of Monday evening.

"Boy, don't cry! You're our hero. It is not your gold medal but your spirit and your persistence that we cherish. I hope to see your smile again," said a netizen from Henan province.

"Believe us, we know how much you paid out. We will support you as always. We support each athlete who fights for his own dream," followed another from Tianjin.

"Actually you did quite well. Under such a pressure, you can grab the silver. It was not easy," a person from Shandong said.

Gao Zhidan, leader of the Chinese shooting team, patted Chang at the back to comfort him.

"Zhu is one of the best athletes in the world and you are one of the best coaches," he said.

"Standing aloft, he had suffered from the chill that others couldn't imagine. Now that he is back to be an ordinary person, it may not be a bad thing."

(Xinhua News Agency August 12, 2008)