Comfortable black velvet lounge couches, tastefully dim lighting, hip urban graffiti photography on the walls, a sleek bar surface imported from LA, and a selection of individual cocktails, I Love Shanghai is a welcome addition to Bund Life clubbing, and a great spot for a relaxing candle-lit cocktail before heading off to the main event at Attica or Bar Rouge......or so you would think before some giant drunk asshole in a purple afro wig slams into you, spilling beer all down the front of your shirt, offering to buy you three more in compensation. Right about this time is when you'd notice the five drunk university girls laboriously throwing themselves around a stripper pole, a drunk German tourist screaming out an order for another Shanghai Slut, a group of drunk Filipinos in total bliss dancing to Will Smith's "Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It," a group of pre-drunk American teachers pulling out their 100rmbs for the all-you-can-drink deal, and a crazed looking bar manager--dressed up like a tweaked-out Jesus Christ--chalking another absinthe shot up for Washington state, increasing his own lead on the rest of the city by 55.

Intentional or not, I Love Shanghai is a finely executed parody of all the swanky bars on the Bund, and one need only consider the view to make the argument. Probably the least accessible bar in town, I Love Shanghai is situated right across the ongoing construction on Zhongshan Lu, right where city planners are, in fact, trying to dig all the way to Hell, possibly to open up a fusion restaurant or lifestyle hub. While all the other bars and clubs on the Bund crane their necks to the Pudong skyline, I Love Shanghai squats in the fetid Bund walkway, in danger of toppling over into a bottomless pit. It's a bar with a unique and schizophrenic personality -- one that can satisfy the superficial wants of Shanghai's tourists in it's "cocktail lounge" capacity, but it also serves as the much-adored safe haven behind enemy lines for the myriad of uh... "individual" personalities in the Shanghai community. It's been called a "dive bar" but its not. It's sometimes derided as a "frat bar" but its not. The heterogeneity of the regulars and one-timers at ILS, hailing as they do from all age groups, nationalities, and backgrounds ensures that it's unclassifiable and totally unique in the city.

A beautiful thing happens around 3am at a good night at ILS, when you stagger passed Australian English teachers doing Absinthe shots with American high school students and Chinese businessmen, and you catch yourself in the mirror at the sinks but don't recognize yourself because you've got on a flowing blond wig and marker all over your face. It would be a fitting moment for some kind of interstellar comet to slam into the earth and wipe us all out completely -- that's the mark of a great party.

Featuring the friendliest wait staff around and bartenders with the heaviest hands in all of Shanghai, if you've ever woken up feeling as if you had been dragged a couple of miles across the ocean floor the night before, odds are good you were at I Love Shanghai sampling their range of cocktails. There's about ten available in three general categories: ones for chicks; "I could get drunk on this;" and blindingly lethal. Standouts are "I Love Long Islands" and "Shanghai Syringe" in this last category (55rmb).

In terms of weekly events, Mondays are Filipino nights; Tuesdays are Ladies Nights -- sometimes featuring pole dancing but always featuring free drinks for the ladies until 1am. I don’t know what Wednesdays are these days. Thursdays are "International Student Night" / rock night (drink deals for students), Sundays host a mildly-lucrative-for-some poker night, and Fridays and Saturdays rotate on the seasonal whims of the bar manager.

I've often wondered how they come up with the Friday and Saturday night theme parties at ILS. I picture someone sitting in the office in the back on the bar, feet propped up on the computer desk, scratching their chin, thinking of ideas for the next weekend. Then they pop this book down from the shelf: "The Big Book of Chinese Office Party Ideas," flip to a random entry, and think to themselves, hmmm can I get a wig or a fake mustache theme in this?

Also keep an eye out for the odd "I Love Jungle" drum and bass parties, the monthly "Absinthe Annihilation" nights, and the beer pong tourneys for other good nights to head down.

This weekend ILS celebrates their two-year anniversary, a wonderful achievement for a bar that, on paper, seems like it should have shut down two months into its existence. Head on down to give it up to bar manager Jeff and the rest of the staff for doing more than their fair share to keep Shanghai out-of-control smashed week in, week out.

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This weekend starting Thursday, I Love Shanghai host their two-year anniversary celebrations:

Thursday March 27 10pm-Late

"Anniversary Weekend: Headbangers Ball" The Stache, Reverend Turntables & Soccer Mom prime ILS for its 2 year anniversary with some heavy metal rarely heard in Shangers. Whips, chains, dark makeup and kinky dominatrixs run ILS with 25RMB Steinlager Draft specials all night!

Friday March 28 10pm-Super Late

"Anniversary Weekend: 2 Years of Loving Shanghai" ILS turns 2 and we bring in the local DJ allstars to help celebrate the mania! DJ Avium, Baldy Bamford, Carl Lorimer, Ekki, Ozone, Ruffian, Siesta, Slackerton & Viceroy rock the decks until the wee hours of the morning! Free entry.

Saturday March 29 8pm-Late

"Anniversary Weekend: Downtown Jackie Brown" Disco Queen DJ Sexy Paul and the Rockettes bring the grooviest disco party to ILS in honor of its 2nd birthday! 100RMB open bar from 8pm-Midnight to jumpstart the night, afros, velvet and 70's gear required!

(smartshanghai.com March 27, 2008)