Yet in Shanghai, as well as some other big cities of China, this ancient tradition is approaching an end, apparent by the increasing number of "empty nests" - houses occupied only by elderly people.

Statistics show that 37 percent of the city's elderly are now living separately from their grown children.

To Westerners, it is natural for children to leave the nest when they become adults. But many Chinese parents feel betrayed when their children leave home, when an ancient poem "A good son should not go too far when his parents are alive" still rings in their ears.

However, whether parents accept it or not, "empty nest" is a future trend, say experts.

Tainted Milk

However, this trend is creating a big social problem - who will take care of the old when they become too weak to look after themselves?

According to a latest survey made by Shanghai Women's Federation (SHWF), some 60 percent of people below the age of 55 support the idea of living separately with children visiting parents from time to time.

The popularity of this idea climbs to 88 percent among young white-collar workers, while at least 60 percent of the elderly are firmly against it.

"The current situation is that many young people have succeeded in living separately but do not frequently visit the older generation," said Shen Yan from the Shanghai Research Center on Ageing.

Many young people only visit their parents during festivals. The problem is even worse for the old whose spouses are deceased.

To make matters more difficult, today neighborhood relationships become more distant. The old, especially those who are too weak to take walks outside, have become shut-ins.

Shen recalled a case from her research where an old lady was diagnosed as having abnormally high blood sugar from drinking too much tainted malted milk.

When the woman was asked why she drank so much malted milk, she explained that her weak physical state made it difficult for her to cook, so she just drank milk for nutrition.

"Heart breaking stories like that are not rare in Shanghai," Shen added.

Statistics show that 50 to 80 percent of China's elderly patients became sick after suffering through long-term depression, and 70 percent of the depression was caused by a lack of love from children.

Frugality

Local seniors do not welcome the idea of hiring maids to take care of them. Only 3.6 percent of those over 55 surveyed this time supported the idea.

"Most of the elderly who are against hiring maids fear that their children will never come to visit them if they have a maid," explained Sun Hongyan, a researcher from SHWF, who was in charge of this survey.

"Further, the frugality of the elderly hampers them from hiring a maid if they think they can still manage the basic things on their own."

Old people's homes is another dread of senior citizens. Although it enjoys more popularity than the idea of hiring a maid, only 9 percent of those over 55 agreed to this point.

"Most senior citizens who enter old people's homes do so because there is no alternative," Shen said.

Almost all the seniors in these places are over 70 years old with a very weak physical condition and many are paralytics.

"Some are sent by their children, but in recent years an increasing number of elderly are coming out of their own will," Shen said.

They don't want to burden or trouble their children who are very busy dealing with the tough competition of today's world.

Shen recalled her visits to some of these houses. She asked seniors if their sons or daughters asked them to return to live with their families, what would they choose. Almost unanimously they said they wanted to live with their children.

One-child Policy

"Nowadays in China, the one-child policy makes it impossible for every senior to live with their child, but at least we should try to reduce the number of empty nests as much as possible," said Shen Yan.

In Western countries, China's strong family traditions are envied by many, and inspire people to think of ways to get closer to their children. Some have made favorable policies to encourage young couples to buy houses near their parents.

"But it seems that in China we don't care about losing our tradition," said Zhou Zhongming, a retired university teacher.

"The situation may not be out of control, if the government can put aside some money and make favorable policies such as reducing individual income tax and reducing the gas and water rate for families that have done a good job to support their parents."

(Shanghai Star August 2, 2002)