The uproar over tiger moms
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She does know a few parents who let their children enjoy their spare time, but these people have guanxi, or social connections, so the child doesn't have to perform well.
"These parents have incredibly strong family background, which means they can control the future of their children. They can arrange the best schools, high schools and universities, and then an excellent job after graduation.
"But what about me? I'm a nobody. Actually, I'm rather upset and often get angry at my husband who often reminds me that our son is missing a happy childhood."
In China, scores have become virtually the only standard by which to determine a child's value and deciding which schools he or she will attend - and hence, his or her future.
Therefore, parents drive their children to succeed, and this leads to tiger parenting.
Normally, a quality primary school guarantees enrollment in a quality high school, which leads to a prestigious university. People tend to believe that a diploma from a prestigious university provides more and better job opportunities than one from a less well-known school.
No tiger
American John and Pat Wilson are much more relaxed than Chinese parents, when it comes to rearing their three-year-old daughter and five-year-old son.
The couple are running a small consulting business in Shanghai.
"We respect our children. We try to communicate with them and be fair. As parents we should respect their choices and decisions and by doing so teach them that they should respect their parents and other people," says John Wilson.
They believe it is more important to inspire and encourage children to do things they are interested in, so they have the passion to motivate themselves through the learning process.
Of course, there must be discipline. For instance, he says, if a child wants to learn dancing, the family will pay for it but the child must finish their sessions.
"It's very hard for us to believe what that tiger mother (Amy Chua) did to her two daughters and even harder to believe how proud she is of describing the terrible things she did to her own kids.
"We have been hearing stories about Chinese kids committing suicide due to the pressure from their parents to excel in school."
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