With constant pressure from families and careers, a staggering 30 percent of middle-aged couples give up on sex, according to a new survey.

The survey, the first of its kind to measure intimacy between middle-aged couples in China, was conducted by American pharmaceutical manufacturer Eli Lilly Company and the Beijing-based China Population Communication Center.

Interviewing 32,906 people in 10 big cities including Beijing and Guangzhou, the poll found that middle-aged couples in the Chinese mainland seldom communicate in their daily life, and often rate their sex lives poorly.

The survey suggests that the major problems affecting marriages are lack of communication, arguments and unsatisfactory sex.

While 46 percent of respondents said they believe a satisfactory sex life promotes intimacy between couples, most couples admitted that their sex life has deteriorated since their wedding.

Around 45 percent of couples said that the husband has sexual dysfunction. Of those, 76 percent said they feel frustrated and complain about it.

Specifically, 30 percent of middle-aged couples and 25 percent of couples younger than 30 have given up sex altogether as a result of physical or psychological problems related to stress.

Many couples also said they were frustrated at the lack of day-to-day intimacy in their lives.

According to the survey, 41 percent of middle-aged couples only kiss and cuddle at home when their children are not around.

About 25 percent only want to mind their own business when they are left alone, either just talking or not communicating at all.

The older the couples are, the less likely they are to communicate or act intimately, found the survey.

Another notable finding was that family responsibilities often lead to a decrease in communication - 37 percent of respondents said pressure from concerns over their children's education, caring for parents or finances had led to less communication with their spouse.

According to Qiu Xiaolan, an expert with the China Sexology Association, a healthy sex life and frequent day-to-day communication are the foundations for maintaining an intimate relationship between husband and wife.

A decline in sex will lead to a decrease in communication and adversely affect the relationship, said Qiu.

"Due to the heavy burden having a family and a career puts on middle aged people today, sexual dysfunction is affecting more and more middle-aged men, overshadowing their relationship with their wives and undermining the stability of the family," said Qiu.
 
(China Daily April 2, 2007)